“RefWatch; Ref for Blades game (P13 since ’79, W4 D3 L6 ) is David Webb, 39, from Wearside. FL ref since 99, and mainly does L1 & L2 games. Loves reffing, he won the coveted ‘Golden Whistle’ refs award last season, which is just like Fr Ted’s ‘Golden Cleric’, but much, much gayer. Points are awarded for the cumulative amount of cards given; aggregate ref assessors score over 12 months; and how many Babychams they can drink while dancing in a thong to ‘Smalltown Boy’ in Greg Dyke’s sex dungeon.
Reffed Wombles once; 2-1 away win at Morecambe in Oct ’11 (5Y). Loves Blades, reffed them 11 times & they’ve won 8, most recently the 2-1 win away at Cov in Dec (2Y). Hates the scum. Reffed them 5 times & they’ve lost 3. Hates them. In 28 games this season he’s given 69Y & 1R – low.
AnagramWatch; David Webb, Wearside = Wives Wedded Bi Arab.
KettleWatch; AWOL after his quiet performance in the Gills v Shrews match – 2Y and no pens. Pathetic, Trevor.
SarginsonWatch; Chelt v Newport. After his terrific performance in our Sutton FA Cup game, Chris has been promoted to Championship level (SG2) by the official refs union, the Worcester And North Kensington English Referees Society, which means he’s definitely going to ref our match against the scum in March. Very well done Chris, great work, you’re an inspiration to fat midgets everywhere.”

“I know that we can’t score an away goal but we can’t even muster a full supporters coach to Sheffield Utd,Fucking Piss Poor.”

“Really looking forward to Sheffield (proper big ground)”

“We will win at Sheffield utd. I can feel it in my bones. All those loyal non cunts will enjoy a great trip back from the steel city …… A very, very big smiley.”

“Am mildly excited about the Sheff Utd away trip now though given we should be able to come out having drawn a line under everything and got ourselves all refreshed. Watch us get absolutely spanked now!”

“’Ardley blamed the defeat at Sheffield United on the enforced two-week break that took momentum out of their season…’”

“we could go to Sheffield and score 2 or 3 I mean they lost 4-1 at Walsall last week and drew 2-2 at home to the gills, and lost 2-0 to Fleetwood so top of the league or not maybe they’re ripe for us to get an away goal or 2 or 3”

“some people are delusional. It was a great moment when I realised in May that this season we would be in the same division as Sheffield Utd, Charlton, Bolton, and so on…..it doesn’t seem so mad now, because we’ve got used to it, and of course it’s funny to see the likes of Blackpool and Portsmouth beneath us.”

“We’ll win at Sheff Utd. Lose at Chesterfield”

“Heard they were after Tom Elliot. Tell them to fuck off as they are smelly Northern cunts.”

“They’ve just signed Chesterfied’s best player Jay O’Shea”

“could Sheff Utd be the Chelsea of this division hoovering up other teams star players just so they have weaker opposition to face? Or is that as a strategy flawed?”

“we go to Sheffield to play one of that city’s teams. On the main City forum I found this amusing description of a recent home defeat to Fleetwood. “In short, we were garbage. Second best from start to finish. I went home angry Saturday at bad defending and missed chances. Our defence was poor again with errors for the goals and other chances but we created sod all tonight. We were well beaten and they totally deserved to win. I cannot think of one player who won their individual battle and no one can come off saying they played well. We were well beaten by a committed and organised side who worked us out from the off and won the game at a canter. The thing that galled me was not the mistakes or the poor, pedestrian and predictable, totally non-penetrating football, but the lack of effort and not winning battles. The team did not look arsed tonight. That is a worry for a side top of the league. Hope it is a one off and we can get back to it in a few weeks but 4 or 5 will be fearing for their places after a total non-performance. Everything we have done well this season, good attitude, pressing, hassling and winning first and second balls, we failed to do. They were well organised, hungry and exposed our weaknesses. There were 5 clear chances in the game and they had them all. Sharp had a few half chances; mostly made himself but I cannot recall a really good chance we made all game. Granted most of their chances came from abysmal defending. It was really worrying how the heads dropped and we have gone in a few weeks from a confident side that suddenly players cannot wait to get rid of the ball and move it on. Noone was taking responsibility and the ball kept getting shuffled onto the next player. It was if no one wanted to make the mistake but inevitably someone did.”

By Roy

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