“We embark on the latest re-incarnation of the English Football League Cup with a trip to Bramall Lane to face last season’s runaway winners of League One. Recent performance would suggest that we should have a guaranteed place in the second round – after all, United only lost 6 games in the entire 2016/17 season, and 2 of them were against us. To add insult to injury we also knocked them out of the Football League Trophy competition, with Amadou Bakayoko scoring one of our goals. At Burynwe had a grand total of 2 shots on target in the entire game, and you can’t expect to come away with 3 points with that kind of strike rate. Having said that, Sheffield United had those statistics on Saturday – 2 shots on target against Brentford, and a 1-0 home win … so it’s not just the quantity of shooting, it’s the quality, and again we are far from the finished article!”
“I think that is a fair mix of fringe youth players and fit first teamers, gives a few a chance. I wouldn’t expect it to win, far from it. But Oldham has to be the priority which questions the need for this waste of time cup.
4-0 Sheffield United.”
“Blades to progress, the scoreline doesn’t really matter.
Whitney to get the blame for everything.
The chairman to leaf through yacht magazines with a satisfied smirk and look for the result the next day in a Cypriot mansion over waffles and maple syrup.
And why shouldn’t he?”
“Both sets of fans to join together in the car park to burn an effigy of Darryl Westlake.
Walsall fans dedicate it as a sacrifice to Matt Done.
Unfortunately, they burn the real Darryl Westlake by mistake.
S Yorks Police to be distracted from their investigations by contemplating the intricacies of a beautiful flower.
Meanwhile Bakayoko scores at the match.
The Blunts finally convert their 18th penalty award late in the match to equalise.
The match goes to penalties and Ginaluca Buffoon saves them all, while two schoolboys are allowed to stay up late and score for us.
Buffoon attempts to claim the match ball and misses, like a farmer trying to catch a greasy pig,
Sheffield United then offer a mammoth £250,000 for Bakayoko, as he is always so deadly against them.
We play hardball and insist on a sell on clause and as many sweeties as Candlin can eat in one sitting.
This delays negotiations by 30 seconds.”
“I think we’ll lose at Sheffield on Wednesday night too unless they put their kids out. I’m not worried by the prospect.”
“Attritional football that doesn’t produce results is dire to watch, creates a horrible atmosphere amongst the fans (I can’t remember hearing such hostility towards the manager and some players on the opening day of a season before) and if that’s really what our new footballing blueprint is then these are going to be bleak times.”
“couldn’t understand the chants of Whitney out on the opening day of the new season, we’ve got some thick fans.”
“Crap board. Crap manager.Not going to say the players are as a lot are young or new to the team, and will give them time. Can’t remember being as concerned after one game though… surely there must be players to come in?
Could be a long season gents.”
“I had convinced myself this week that I would give Whitney a chance but summing up everything that has gone on in pre-season, his recruitment, today and his idiotic after match comments he has to go and very quickly.”
“quite frankly, Jose Mourinho couldn’t do much of a job at Walsall if you demolish that squad, and only reinvest half of the value you lose from that first team quality back in, then claim you have the biggest budget in this clubs history in this division yet clearly can’t entice a striker here with those fund or in fact afford to have any depth whatsoever.” “
What’s the point?”